


Nothingness

by Fogfire



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Depression, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 13:12:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16388363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fogfire/pseuds/Fogfire
Summary: Warning: angst, depression





	Nothingness

Eventually, the day comes and you realize that no amount of pretty clothes, colorful accessories or sweet snacks help. You get up in the morning because there is work to do. You wait in line for the cup of coffee that used to give you energy and a feeling of home when you sipped the hot beverage. Now it just tastes better and on some days it even makes your stomach revolt.

Food tastes the same way it always does but what difference does it make if you eat your favorite meal? What difference does it make if you eat or not?

You’re tired, not just because your sleep lacks in quality and quantity, but tired of life, of the days that follow each other in an endless loop of getting up, do things, go back to bed.

Sometimes you wish to be sad. You watch a movie, cry a few tears and wipe them away afterward. The feeling doesn’t linger.

A co-worker tells a joke and you laugh, but the amusement passes through your mind like a tiny cloud on a windy day and leaves nothing but the longing for more.

You feel nothing but the drag of being alive.

And there is a smile on your face when you pass the Captain in the hallways and a scowl when the Doctor tells you to remind Scotty that he can’t just ditch his physicals. There is still enough life in you to hold your ground in a chess challenge with Chekov but it is seeping away from you as if you’re just a leaky bottle and no one ever told you how to refill yourself.


End file.
